We are how we think. I’m ready to change how I think.
When I don’t feel like going for a walk, it’s time to change that thinking to being excited about going for a walk.
When I want to overeat, it’s time to change my thinking to other positive things that I want.
When I’m feeling sad, it’s time to change my emotions to gratitude for all the wonderful things I have in my life.
How do you handle stress?
It’s such a predominant thing in our lives isn’t it? Stress is everywhere. Work, family, relationships, in the desire to achieve our own personal goals, along with wanting to exercise and eat healthily.
There are a multitude of coping techniques out there and often they are unconscious. We don’t realise we are stressed, we simply respond in some ingrained manner. Some coping techniques are so healthy and work well. Others are not.
What if your coping technique simply adds to the stress of your life?
I had one of those ‘aha’ moments yesterday. Some internet reading led me to articles about Oprah’s weight gain and the ensuing media bombardment of it. Everyone has an opinion. Yet, despite the stress that the media coverage must add to her life, the result for me has been an awakening. I ignored all the rubbishy articles and found instead, her words and the words of another wise person close to her.
Ah, the stress free life of a cat!
Over the years, I’ve analysed, dissected, turned inside out, been motivated about and given up on the reasons why I overeat. Emotional eating. That is what the experts kept coming back to. Yet, that has never given me any focus for healing. Which emotion? Which situation? Most of the time you only realise after the fact that you were angry or depressed – much too late to do anything about it.
Yet, the word stress is all encompassing. All difficult emotions are stressful. It is so much easier to recognise that you are stressed than to recognise which emotion is causing it.
Acknowledging that I eat to relieve stress is a simple answer that cuts to the core. I’ve also realised that boredom is a factor and I need to allow for this as well.
I eat to cope with stress.
This of course, adds to my stress – because I am not eating well, I am gaining weight, I am guilty, my energy is depleted through bad foods, I am not motivated to exercise which is one of the best stress relievers there is! The vicious circle ensues.
Now that I realised and felt the constant state of stress that I am in, I know. This is it. This is my core. I have found it.
Today, I have simply acknowledged it – and that has started the process. I already see many areas to look at further. The desire to eat is still there. But eating to cover stress? I don’t want that. So this morning, the desire never turned into an action. And I am grateful (if somewhat stressed! J )
I have brought out my Bach rescue remedy spray to help relieve these symptoms. And now that I am recovering from illness, I can get back to regular walking.
I am excited to have discovered this. I am thankful. I have a long journey ahead of me now, but I feel prepared. Understanding created readiness.
I’ve leave you with excerpts of what I read yesterday. Excerpts that have changed my life.
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“My greatest failure was in believing that the weight issue was just about the weight,” Winfrey told People in 1991. “It’s about not handling stress properly.” This is the information that Shrink Yourself has been trying to teach people for years. Overcoming weight issues has nothing to do with finding the right diet pill, plan or program. Overcoming weight issues has everything to do with how you handle stress.
Often return to her old source of comfort: food.
Use food as a coping mechanism.
These days I’ve put myself back on my own priority list; I try to do at least one hour of exercise five or six days a week. As I work out, eat healthfully, and reorder my life so there’s time to replenish my energy, I continue to do the spiritual and emotional work to conquer this battle once and for all.
My goal isn’t to be thin. My goal is for my body to be the weight it can hold-to be strong and healthy and fit, to be itself. My goal is to learn to embrace this body and to be grateful every day for what it has given me.
I’ve heard it said that human beings learn in spirals. We return to the same issues again and again, hopefully with new information, new skills and new insights. Your fluctuations in weight can be opportunities to learn more and more about who you are and what you need to manage the stress in your life. Overcoming emotional eating isn’t easy. But we see people doing it here every day, with the support of an understanding community, and by finding the skills needed to stop using food as a friend, lover or form of medication and as Dr. Roger Gould says, “to finally let food be just food.”
I’m on the third night of Dave being away now. And as I suspected, I do feel better. Getting used to it again. There is still a level of fear in my heart, but not as much as the first night (except when Max goes mad barking at something making you think someone is creeping around your house at night!!!).
I will be always grateful for having Dave in my life. That gratitude has never left me from the moment we met. This time without him only reinforces that within me.
All those years living alone and being single (with unmentionable male disasters along the way!). They certainly help you to know, recognise, appreciate and love a great guy when he finally comes along.
Gratitude.
This is one of my favourite photos of Dave. It was taken in our very early days on a bushwalking trip.
Dave has gone away for the week for work. Once night fell, I found myself in serious panic mode and needing to do all the things of old from when I lived alone. The house had to be a particular way. Everything had to be tidied and put away. Everything just so.
It made me realise how much of my behaviour as a single woman living alone was based on the need for security and in order to keep away fear. I was constantly living with fear at night, ranging from low level (and unconsious fear) to complete panic. The low level fear is back.
Yet, now that that is all done, I think I am going to enjoy the next few days. A time to regroup. And I will soon adjust to being responsible for it all once more.
And of course, I still have Max (Dave’s dog) to protect me and the house now!
In the chaos and unsettling of today, I have come to the evening reminding myself of my new goal of simplicity and peace.
There are chores to be done, that I don’t want to do.
There is exercise for the taking, that I am feeling so lethargic about.
Okay, find the peace.
Find the simplicity in the quiet of the house, the purring of my cat.
Get off the computer, away from the TV and find the quiet.
Simplicity.
It’s such a beautiful word.
I think it is what we all strive for.
Simplicity.
We make our lives so complicated. And I think so much of the time it is out of our control. Our unconscious patterns kick in … and there it is… chaos, complication, unease.
For me, it is an eating disorder.
My mind goes round and round with constant cravings and my day is a chaos of food and emotion and criticism and judgment… chaos.
Today, I have felt simplicity.
And I have felt how beautiful and peaceful it can be.
The normal chaos of my mind hasn’t been there for very long today – fleeting moments infesting the quiet and the beauty.
Beautiful simplicity and quiet.
I can pinpoint the reasons why.
It was interesting to find out that just meeting someone wonderful was not the instigator in suddenly not craving food. It didn’t work that way. I had to find that peaceful within myself.
And having some time off took me away from the complication of work and busy, busy, busy.
My goal now is to find that simplicity and peacefulness in all areas of my life.
To be able to come home and sink into the home life that I am feeling right now.
To not get distracted by chaotic energy and stay within the peaceful, loving spirit energy I am feeling right now.
Perhaps this needs to be the new focus for my blog.
Finding, sharing and living…
…Simplicity.
Over the last few days, I have realised that one of the things I miss about blogging regularly, is discovering all the new and wonderful books that are out there to be read.
Last week I read The Time Travellers Wife. I LOVED it! I never would have heard about it if it hadn’t been for other bloggers raving about it. Same with several other books that I have loved to read lately.
Blogging is such a wonderful resource for this kind of discovery.
Today I finished reading the wonderful magical book – Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen. AWESOME!!!
Anyone read anything great lately?
A wonderful addition to my family - Max - along with his owner Dave, of course!!
Well there has been no update on the bread, because we haven’t had any real success! We had two loaves that were “ok”, but they still didn’t rise very well. We have another recipe to try that is quite different so we’ll see how that goes.
I’ve been insanely busy these last few weeks. The new school year hasn’t settled into a routine yet and I am still fighting between so glad to be back at work and not wanting to work like this anymore. But overall, I think this year is going to be much better workwise than last year, so I am keen to see how that progresses.
I am missing my old blogger site and thinking I may head back there. I’m just not sure. There are things I can do here, like seperate pages, but there are things I miss from blogger, like easy to do widgets. Blogger feels more homely to me, but is that just because I am used to it? People know me from blogger also. Will people come over to this wordpress site. I won’t know that I guess, because I am just not in the loop of blogging at the moment. Actually for a long moment. However, it is only fair to give it a go! So here is where I will stay for a while.
After watching the movie “The Women” today (wow, a whole movie with NO men!), I’ve decided to do a list of things that I want. Two of them are already above, bushwalking and photography.
Why I can’t get back into these things I don’t know. They are two of things I love doing most in this world. Anybody got any ideas?
I often wonder what it is that stops us from achieving our goals. If I ever find the answer I will post it on here first thing! But if you know the answer already, let me know!! 🙂 🙂
Today’s the day of trying out the bread. I’m looking forward to seeing the results.
Today is also about getting back into the accounting. I’ve had a lovely break from it over the summer holidays! So I don’t want to get back into this routine again! Ah well, it’s gotta be done.
We got worked hard in kickboxing last night. I am sore all over. I can’t decide which part of me hurts the most! The last couple of weeks, the weather has been so hot that our coach took it easy on us. Now it’s much cooler. And the sadist that he is (!), the first thing he said was “right, it’s not hot tonight, you’re in for it! It’s time to catch up!” And did we ever! Wow. A great coach and an awesome guy. 
Mum and Dad gave us a bread maker for Christmas. We are so excited about it. Our wheat free bread costs us $7 a loaf from the health store – an expense we are looking forward to cutting down by making our own.
Yet, after several attempts, its turning out to be a lot harder to make gluten free bread than we thought. And then, thanks to our baker friend, we realised the problem is the lack of gluten. We are not gluten intolerant, just wheat intolerant. And it is the gluten in bread that keeps it risen. All the bread mixes out there that are wheat free are also gluten free. Since realising this, I have looked for, but not been able to buy, just a wheat free bread mix.
It’s a pity I didn’t think to take pictures of the previous failed attempts. You would have died laughing at the mishapen, sunken lumps of cooked dough that have come out of the bread maker!!!
We have TWO solutions though!
Learning how to make wheat free bread
I’ll take a photo of our attempt and post it. Fingers crossed!
Does anyone else out there make their own wheat free bread? Do you use a bread maker? Any suggestions????
Life's Journey 