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Gratitude

I’m on the third night of Dave being away now.  And as I suspected, I do feel better.  Getting used to it again.  There is still a level of fear in my heart, but not as much as the first night (except when Max goes mad barking at something making you think someone is creeping around your house at night!!!).

I will be always grateful for having Dave in my life.  That gratitude has never left me from the moment we met.  This time without him only reinforces that within me. 

All those years living alone and being single (with unmentionable male disasters along the way!).  They certainly help you to know, recognise, appreciate and love a great guy when he finally comes along. 

Gratitude.

Dave down on the rocks

This is one of my favourite photos of Dave. It was taken in our very early days on a bushwalking trip.

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Posted by on March 24, 2009 in Gratitude

 

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Back to the old ways.

Dave has gone away for the week for work.  Once night fell, I found myself in serious panic mode and needing to do all the things of old from when I lived alone.  The house had to be a particular way.  Everything had to be tidied and put away.  Everything just so.

It made me realise how much of my behaviour as a single woman living alone was based on the need for security and in order to keep away fear.  I was constantly living with fear at night, ranging from low level (and unconsious fear) to complete panic.  The low level fear is back.

Yet, now that that is all done, I think I am going to enjoy the next few days.  A time to regroup.  And I will soon adjust to being responsible for it all once more.

And of course, I still have Max (Dave’s dog) to protect me and the house now!

 
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Posted by on March 22, 2009 in Home life

 

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